"I had a dream." A statement I have made many times throughout my life. "I had a dream." Sounds like I went through life with my head stuck in the clouds, and no direction. Well nothing could be further from the truth. I spent a lifetime battleing my way along the path of life. I worked hard, raising 5 children and even some of my grandchildren. I did the best I could with the business's I ran, the family I provided for, the friends I had, and life in general. So what is this stuff about a dream? Why did I feel like I was not counted on this earth? Worst of all, why did I wear dresses?
Yes, you read it right, I wear womens clothes. I am a pervert, a weirdo, a society cast away. I always felt that I was doing something very wrong, something that was not accepted by society, but it seemed so natural, something I should be doing. Was I just a mistake of nature? Did the lord that I believe in so strongly, and trust with all my soul, make a mistake? He sent me here as a boy? How could he have made such a mistake? I know I am the only one in the world that has been born this way! There is no way my lord would make two mistakes!
If you are reading this, you may be in the same canoe as I am, maybe you are just curious to find out about all these silly men in dresses, maybe you are genuinely concerned, or you really want to know more. Hell, maybe you are just as confused about why this desire, or should I say, this need to wear women's clothes instilled in MY body.
Why did the lord make me this way? If you are like me; you also feel like you are the only mistake in the world. After all, children are born with deformities every day, but only ONE boy is born with the need to be female, and that is me! Well, let me assure you, and me; we are not the only ones with this unconventional way of life. You and I are just two within a community made up of millions. I have come to the realization that the lord did not make any mistakes; he made us special.. He provided us special people with a gift that not many people have. The ability to live on both side of the fence. He blessed us with the sweetness, strength, and genuine concern for the well being of others; female traits. He gave us the drive, staying power, and the will to survive: male traits.
"I had a dream"? What does that mean? Well, through out my life, while hiding in my closet; the desire to seek out others like me has always been very high on my list. The desire to find answers to the thousands of questions I have had. The desire to find out WHY? Why me??
That question;"WHY", although not answered as yet, is at least within the realm of possibility. The fact that I am the only one has broken through, and guess what? I'M NOT!!!! The years of blameing others for my problems, the thousands of WHY'S, the failures, the success's... The questions I asked my parents as a kid, "why do I like to play with girls stuff? Why won't the boys pick me for their team? Mommy, why won't daddy let me play with that doll??
The answers were always the same, "Because you are a boy!!" Because I am a boy? What is that? I fought very hard throught out my life to maintain a male image. Why? Don't know! I guess I was supposed to? Daddy taught me to be a man?? Still, I do not understand... In my days they made everybody be right handed! My adult life was a mixed up mess of high and low paying positions, in and out of business, more ups and downs than anyone should have to bear.. And at every turn, I was asking; "When do I get to be me?" "When can I put on my dress?" "When is it my turn to live my life? "
"I HAVE A DREAM." and now my dream can be yours.. What I have fought for, I dream that you do not have to. What I have prayed for, I pray you do not have to. The questions I scoured the world to find answers for, I dream you do not have to.. The turmoil that was bestowed upon me, I dream you do not have to struggle through.
The dream is a rather simple idea. Those of the gender community should have at their feet all of the answers. They should have all the resources. This information should be easy to find, this information should be FREE.
With the help of many wnderful people that share my dream, I have put together a web site that shall; I PRAY; help us all. I shall strive, with my last breath, to make all the resources that pretain to the gender community available to all that need and want this information. AND IT SHALL ALWAYS BE FREE TO THE COMMUNITY. Those that need the help, shall get it.. Please, do not interupt this to say that I have all the answers, I do not. Our site is a growing site and it will always grow.. I shall gather as much information as I can, I shall get it on line as fast as I can, I shall always to the best I can to produce a quality site.
My dream is for the premier site! I pray that all those sealed in the closet can come out, at least those that want to. If I can help one person attain their goal in life, help just one person acheive their dream, I shall consider I have done something.
I HAD A DREAM. No longer 'had'- I now have a dream in the making. I suppose it will always be a dream. Lord, please let us live the life we feel that we must live. Do allow others to see that we are real people, trying to live!!!
Our site is working with and will always work with those in the community that are looking to move forward. We must eliminate the prejudice. We must help others. WE must always love our neighbors, no matter who they are.. To quote a very lovely genetic lady, Christy Lane; "Everything is beautiful, in its own way."
My dream is a reality.. We shall never walk alone again.
-Rose Marie Linda Hahn